Your courtship relationship must not end in pain and broken-heartedness; neither must it end in wanton immoral behaviour. Courtship is the time to pray and plan for a marriage that will outlive you. Learn more from this page.

SPIRITUAL COMPATABILITY

Is the person you are considering for marriage a born again Christian if you are? Are they baptized of the spirit and of water? What are their beliefs on the so-called controversial issues such as tongues speaking, divine healing, the Holy Spirit, and baptism, the wearing of ornaments and the use of scarves? Be clear about their stance on such issues before you either lose your faith or invite an unending war into your future home.

As Christians, the first thing that we have to look out from our prospective partners is their faith in terms of which religion they belong to and how deeply involved they are. We are not saying this just because we are Christians but we have to understand that other religions equally do not permit marriage with non-believers of their faith or at least encourage marriage between their members.

 2Cor. Ch.6vr14 states “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? And what communion hath light with darkness? KJV.”

 This clearly states that we who profess to be under the light of Christ cannot propose to the people we call unbelievers and neither can we consider their proposals.
People have for that matter considered the “convert and possess” as well as the “possess and convert” approaches. These approaches are however not the least helpful. A sister or brother who is desperately in love with you will do anything within their power, including confessing the Lordship of Jesus Christ if that does the trick, to win your heart. Let not a sister or a brother come to Christ because they want you. Let them rather come to you because they have Christ. Never give them the condition of “if you love me then you have to come to my church or you must be born again” The first question he will ask himself is “what does is take to become born again?” In actual fact this is the cheapest condition one can give in exchange for love. Don’t cheapen your love. Don’t give it to people who will follow Christ because they want you. You are better of with those who love you because they are in Christ already and can see that you bear the fruit of the Spirit.

Don’t forget that even those of us who genuinely got born again sometimes wander off under severe circumstances. What are you going to do if after getting you to fall in love with him, he returns to his old self? Are you going to leave him if you have gone as far as into marriage? Watch out! Someone out there is desperately after your love and will do anything to get it. This may include falsely becoming born again and even praying in false tongues. There has been an incident in London where a Muslim pretended to be a Christian, got seriously involved in Church activities and married the leader of the prayer department. Just a few years after the wedding and having been blessed with two children, the man claimed he had become a Muslim and insisted that his wife followed suit. They did not know that he had always been a Muslim. This is a very disturbing and embarrassing situation which is still being looked into. Sisters, be warned especially about Muslim men who are using this strategy to get Christian women to become Muslims. “For what shall it profit a man if he gains the whole world and loses his soul?” Mark 8:36.

 The “Possess and convert” approach is actually the most dangerous and incidentally the most common of the two. This school of thought usually quote 1 Cor.Ch.7vrs12-16 in which Paul says

         “But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: if any brother hath a wife that believeth not and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him…………………………………………….”

 Don’t forget that Paul was talking to people who had been “Pagans” for all their lives, married in that state and had just come to know Christ. In this instance, we are talking about people who got married as unbelievers and one of them has now got converted. You are already a believer and also yet to either propose or to be proposed to. Unfortunately, my sister, this scripture does not apply to you.

Many have encouraged themselves that their prospective unbelieving partners will get born again later after they are married. That is a big lie. This is not to say that it is not possible but will it happen at all? Even if he will not follow you to church when he hasn’t won your heart yet, how do you expect him to do so after you have become his? Do not forget that he or she who is in love will put up their best till they finally get you. Watch out then if you are not satisfied with his or her behaviour at the time when they are seeking. It can be worse after they’ve got you. The bottom line therefore should be that we chose from people with checkable Christian background. Be careful also with those who surface abruptly from nowhere and profess to have been with Christ for ages. Insist on people with a checkable background.

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At The Door Of A Relationship